Children checklist

This checklist is for families with no safety concerns. Abuse isn’t only physical, if there’s a safeguarding concern, a history of conflict, or you don’t think joint advice is right for your family, get advice from your own family solicitor urgently, the family courts exist to protect you and your children.

Work through these before you start:

• Are you and your co-parent able to discuss arrangements for your children together, safely and freely? If either of you has concerns about the other’s behaviour, or there’s a conflict that could make joint advice inappropriate, separate advice is the right starting point instead.
• What do you need to agree? Think through where your children will live, how their time will be split between you, school and holiday arrangements, communication between households, day-to-day decisions, and how you’ll handle introducing new partners in future.
• Do you want a written record, and does it need to be legally binding? A parenting plan is a useful working document, but it isn’t enforceable by itself. If you want your arrangement to become a court order, or you already have an order that needs changing, get advice on whether a consent order is the right route.
• If you can’t agree, what’s your next step? Mediation usually comes before anything else, and in most cases you’re expected to attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) before making a court application about your children, unless an exemption applies.