How Can We Help You?      0203 488 4475
The Divorce Surgery
  • Home
  • Get Started
    • Don’t Know Where To Start?
    • Start Together
    • Resolving Finances
    • Co-Parenting
    • Divorce Applications
    • Order Drafting
  • Our Book
  • Online Courses
  • News
    • In The News
    • Our Blog
    • Press
    • Instagram
  • About Us
    • Why Us
    • Our Story
    • Contact
    • Awards
    • Social Impact
The Divorce Surgery
How Can We Help You?
  • Home
  • Get Started
    • Don’t Know Where To Start?
    • Start Together
    • Resolving Finances
    • Co-Parenting
    • Divorce Applications
    • Order Drafting
  • Our Book
  • Online Courses
  • News
    • In The News
    • Our Blog
    • Press
    • Instagram
  • About Us
    • Why Us
    • Our Story
    • Contact
    • Awards
    • Social Impact

Follow us  

When you get divorced, and you have children, you When you get divorced, and you have children, you are still a parent 100% of the time, whether your children are with you or not. 

 Think back to when you were in a relationship, did you stop being a parent when your children were at school, or you were at work, or went out for the evening without them? Of course not. Did you count ‘nights’ or percentages of time then? No. So why do it now? 

 Litigation about children often starts from a place of fear. Fear that you’re going to be marginalised as a parent, that your relationship with your children will be negatively impacted by the divorce. 

 But, provided it’s safe in your circumstances to do so, can you start from a place where you both agree that you’re going to share the care of your children? That you’re both going to be fully involved, committed parents? That this isn’t a competition. Because if you start there, then the rest just becomes logistics. What work commitments do you have? Who can do the school run on which days? What works best at weekends? If you can approach these arrangements as simple diary management, they won’t become overloaded with emotion, and will enable you to change the arrangements (which no doubt you’ll regularly need to do) when work and your children’s commitments change and throw a spanner in the works.
Hope this helps 🙌🏼 Hope this helps 🙌🏼
Who gets the family dog on divorce? 🐶 Is the q Who gets the family dog on divorce? 🐶

Is the question our co-founder Samantha was asked on @bbcradio4 The Law show yesterday. She discusses ‘pet-nups’ and the case of FI v DO (yes, really, Fido!) 

If you fancy listening to the whole episode, which also covers the first AI law firm and forcing convicted criminals to attend their sentencing hearings, we’ve popped the link in our stories 🎧

Thank you @bbcradio4 for having Sam on the show!
As anticipation builds while we await the Supreme As anticipation builds while we await the Supreme Court’s decision in Standish v Standish, the legal world begins to read the tea leaves for what changes might be coming for the treatment of pre-acquired wealth on divorce. Harry and Samantha were delighted to contribute their thoughts to Tatler’s recent article ‘A very society divorce: when premarital fortunes come under fire’ 

Follow the link in our stories to read the full article.
This is so important! These two pieces of paper This is so important! 

These two pieces of paper achieve very different things legally 📑
A major part of the problem is that there are just A major part of the problem is that there are just too many cases in the Family Court. If more of those can settle elsewhere, then those that remain can be dealt with more quickly.
An influential report in 2021 said that the Family An influential report in 2021 said that the Family Court in ‘in crisis’, reflecting the ever-increasing length of time it is taking to conclude ‘financial remedy’ proceedings on divorce. 

The figures are stark: cases outside London are taking on average 84 weeks to conclude, unless settlement is reached along the way.  The figures for London are even worse. To state the obvious, these are appalling stats, which mask the enormous emotional and financial cost to separating couples who find themselves in court. 

So the message couldn’t be clearer – avoid the limbo of court proceedings if you possibly can.  And even if you’re already in court proceedings, don’t stop trying to reach a settlement if you can.
Hope this is helpful 🙌🏼 Hope this is helpful 🙌🏼
Proper disclosure should be a non negotiable. With Proper disclosure should be a non negotiable. Without it, how do you know whether the offer he is making is legally fair? 

I’m sorry he’s being uncooperative- it’s short sighted as ultimately you could argue in front of the Judge that you were forced to issue court proceedings because of his non-disclosure and so he should pay your legal costs...
Hope this helps 🙌🏼 Hope this helps 🙌🏼
The cost of pension reports, and the delay they ca The cost of pension reports, and the delay they cause, is a huge factor for divorcing couples. But it’s so vital not to ignore pensions. 

Achieving an equal sharing of a pension isn’t always straight forward, particularly if it’s a public sector scheme, so you may well need a pension report but always get legal advice first to make sure it’s necessary, and use a Pension on Divorce Expert who can comply with the Pension Advisory Group guidance
As with anything in life, divorcing couples need o As with anything in life, divorcing couples need options and lots of them! 

Think about the help you need, and where to get it, and don’t think the first person you should call is a lawyer.
This is your divorce. And there is no ‘one size This is your divorce. And there is no ‘one size fits all’. 

You know, better than anyone else, the things which worry you the most. Maybe it’s navigating the emotional side, maybe it’s the arrangements for your children, maybe it’s better understanding your financial position and what life after divorce might look like. All these issues can and should be navigated, and for most couples, are better dealt with before you speak to a lawyer or engage in mediation. 

One of the best ways to navigate divorce well is to keep control of your divorce. Don’t delegate it to someone else. The divorces we see which have really spiralled out of control are ones where the two people involved have, in effect, become passengers in the divorce litigation. If you can possibly help it, don’t let that happen. Get help at an early stage from a range of professionals (and none of this needs to break the bank, just a couple of sessions will often do the trick). That way, by the time you start to take legal advice, you’ll be in the right frame of mind and be able to identify the areas on which you do (and don’t) need help. 

You can budget for everything else in life; there is no reason at all why you can’t also budget for divorce, and together keep hold of the reins.
It costs more to run two households instead of one It costs more to run two households instead of one. So the reality, for most people, is that financially they are BOTH worse off after divorce. But as humans our decisions aren’t all driven by money, so leaving an unhappy relationship, even if you’re worse off financially, is what most people want in order to find happiness. But it’s important to be realistic from the start about the finances. 

You both need your financial needs met, the money has to be shared, and the task is to find a way to share it which is legally fair taking into account all the circumstances of your marriage, your earning capacities and your needs.
Hope this helps 👍🏼 Hope this helps 👍🏼
It’s really important to know there is NO presum It’s really important to know there is NO presumption in law about how a child’s time should be divided between their parents after separation.
When we see divorce in movies, does it ever end we When we see divorce in movies, does it ever end well? Or is it ramped up for dramatic effect? 

If so, what is that doing to the couples navigating divorce in real life? 

Is it because you have close friends or family who’ve been to the family courts? 

Is it because you’re in court proceedings yourself at the moment? 

Or is it because of the media portrayals of divorce? 

Does it set them up to fail, and make it that much harder to work together?
Ask any family lawyer if they’d want to go to co Ask any family lawyer if they’d want to go to court to resolve the arrangements for their own family and you’ll very quickly see how much they’d want to avoid it. For some, Court is inevitable. If your safety is at risk, or your former partner is determined to hide assets from you and the court process, then you will need a Judge to intervene. But those cases are, thankfully, rare. Most couples end up in court, not because they need to be there, but because they can’t find another way through. 

If you’re starting the process now, or are mid-way through a divorce and court proceedings are looking more and more likely, how do you avoid them? Communicate. 

You need to find a way to bridge the gap. For some, that means couples engage in counselling to talk through the emotional fallout first. For others, it means sitting down with an independent financial advisor together to work what there is in the pot, what your mortgage capacities are and how everyone’s needs can be met. Joint legal advice may help, particularly if you don’t know what is legally fair or have very different perceptions of what fair looks like. If you’re clear on what’s legally fair, think about mediation, or co-parenting support. Just get talking. It takes two to settle. 

And bear in mind these words from the President of the Family Division (the most senior Family Judge in England and Wales: 

“Cases of straightforward relationship dysfunction, not involving abuse or a need for protection, should not need to come before a magistrate or judge for resolution. Indeed, because, for this group of cases, the issues concern matters of emotion and psychology, a court is most unlikely to be the best place to achieve any lasting resolution. The court, with its clunky legalistic approach will undoubtedly, in the end, produce a result which may then have to be imposed upon the parents, but, I would suggest, for this substantial group of cases, the court process is not one that either adds value to the welfare of the child or is in any way beneficial for the parents. In some cases, it may simply provide a pitch and a referee for them to play out further rounds in their adult contest.”
Hope this helps 🙌🏼 Hope this helps 🙌🏼
This is going to depend on your situation. If you This is going to depend on your situation.

If you got a financial order which was sealed by a Family Judge one you divorced, and it contains a capital clean break order, then you will not be able to claim against pensions now. I’ve put the clean break wording below.

But if you never got a financial order, then your financial claims against each other (including claims for pensions) remain alive. The extent to which you can claim will depend on many circumstances, including how long you were married and the financial picture since you separated, so you should definitely get legal advice if this is something you might want to pursue, so you understand what is realistic. If you can, it would be good for you and your ex to get advice together, so you both understand what claims you have and how a court may view them.

Clean break: capital [and income] - Applicant

1.  Except as provided for in this order, the applicant’s claims for [secured periodical payments orders,] [periodical payments orders,] lump sum orders, property adjustment orders, pension sharing orders and pension attachment orders shall be dismissed [and [he] / [she] shall not be entitled to make any further application in relation to the marriage for an order under the Matrimonial Causes Act 1973 section 23(1)(a) or (b) and [he] / [she] shall not be entitled on the respondent’s death to apply for an order under the Inheritance (Provision for Family and Dependants) Act 1975, section 2].
Follow on Instagram
image

Our Office

THE DIVORCE SURGERY
4PB
6th Floor St Martin’s Court
10 Paternoster Row
London
EC4M 7HP

Get in Touch

GET STARTED ONLINE

(+44) 0203 488 4475

[email protected]

About

THE DIVORCE SURGERY is a registered trademark and is authorised and regulated by the Bar Standards Board. It is a private limited company registered in England & Wales under company number 10887238 and its VAT registration number is 293 5134 93. Our terms of website use policy can be downloaded here, our client care policy can be downloaded here and our privacy notice can be downloaded here. © The Divorce Surgery Ltd. All rights reserved.

LinkedinFacebookInstagramYouTube
Copyright 2025. All Rights Reserved.