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The Divorce Surgery
How Can We Help You?
  • Home
  • Get Started
    • Don’t Know Where To Start?
    • Start Together
    • Resolving Finances
    • Co-Parenting
    • Divorce Applications
    • Order Drafting
  • Our Book
  • Online Courses
  • News
    • In The News
    • Our Blog
    • Press
    • Instagram
  • About Us
    • Why Us
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It is madness to spend a fortune on legal fees and It is madness to spend a fortune on legal fees and end up in court unless there really is no other option (and it’s thankfully a rare case where there ‘s no other way.

But in my experience as a family law barrister, I haven’t met anyone yet (in almost 20 years) who WANTS to spend a crazy amount of money on lawyers. They just want a fair outcome. And so does their ex. But if they are giving different versions of events to their respective lawyers, they’ll be given different answers, which is the whole issue with the two-sided adversarial model, and why Harry and I set up The Divorce Surgery.

If a separating couple can find out together, from an impartial lawyer, what’s fair, it’s a game changer. Suddenly, there’s nothing left to fight about (or spend money on legal fees to fight about)
***DIVORCE STATS UPDATE*** ok..sounds boring, bu ***DIVORCE STATS UPDATE*** 

ok..sounds boring, but this stuff really matters. There are fewer divorces happening but a huge rise in the number of cases where separating couples are arguing about money. This is an unsustainable burden on the Family Court. And it can only mean one thing: more delay, more cost, more unhappiness. So share a lawyer and stay away from court if you can…
If your ex won’t engage in proper financial disc If your ex won’t engage in proper financial disclosure it’s time to make a court application. Get your mediator to sign off your MIAM certificate and issue a Form A.

This does NOT mean you’re going to court, but it sets up a timetable so that if your ex continues to refuse to engage then you have a hearing in the diary (called a First Appointment) where the Judge can order your ex to complete a Form E.

A good idea is to write to your ex now saying:

- The efforts you have made to get them to engage

- What they have failed to do (i.e. fill in a Form E and attend mediation)

- That as a result you are now forced to issue court proceedings

- That if you are forced to attend a court hearing you will be asking the Judge to order your ex to pay your legal costs

- BUT that all this can be avoided, and the proceedings stayed, if your ex files a Form E and engages in an out of court process with you (either mediation or there are other options, such as sharing a lawyer)

You can then attach that letter to your Form A so the Court has the full background. Good luck.
A divorced parent is still a parent 100% of the ti A divorced parent is still a parent 100% of the time.
When you get divorced, and you have children, you When you get divorced, and you have children, you are still a parent 100% of the time, whether your children are with you or not. 

 Think back to when you were in a relationship, did you stop being a parent when your children were at school, or you were at work, or went out for the evening without them? Of course not. Did you count ‘nights’ or percentages of time then? No. So why do it now? 

 Litigation about children often starts from a place of fear. Fear that you’re going to be marginalised as a parent, that your relationship with your children will be negatively impacted by the divorce. 

 But, provided it’s safe in your circumstances to do so, can you start from a place where you both agree that you’re going to share the care of your children? That you’re both going to be fully involved, committed parents? That this isn’t a competition. Because if you start there, then the rest just becomes logistics. What work commitments do you have? Who can do the school run on which days? What works best at weekends? If you can approach these arrangements as simple diary management, they won’t become overloaded with emotion, and will enable you to change the arrangements (which no doubt you’ll regularly need to do) when work and your children’s commitments change and throw a spanner in the works.
Hope this helps 🙌🏼 Hope this helps 🙌🏼
Who gets the family dog on divorce? 🐶 Is the q Who gets the family dog on divorce? 🐶

Is the question our co-founder Samantha was asked on @bbcradio4 The Law show yesterday. She discusses ‘pet-nups’ and the case of FI v DO (yes, really, Fido!) 

If you fancy listening to the whole episode, which also covers the first AI law firm and forcing convicted criminals to attend their sentencing hearings, we’ve popped the link in our stories 🎧

Thank you @bbcradio4 for having Sam on the show!
As anticipation builds while we await the Supreme As anticipation builds while we await the Supreme Court’s decision in Standish v Standish, the legal world begins to read the tea leaves for what changes might be coming for the treatment of pre-acquired wealth on divorce. Harry and Samantha were delighted to contribute their thoughts to Tatler’s recent article ‘A very society divorce: when premarital fortunes come under fire’ 

Follow the link in our stories to read the full article.
This is so important! These two pieces of paper This is so important! 

These two pieces of paper achieve very different things legally 📑
A major part of the problem is that there are just A major part of the problem is that there are just too many cases in the Family Court. If more of those can settle elsewhere, then those that remain can be dealt with more quickly.
An influential report in 2021 said that the Family An influential report in 2021 said that the Family Court in ‘in crisis’, reflecting the ever-increasing length of time it is taking to conclude ‘financial remedy’ proceedings on divorce. 

The figures are stark: cases outside London are taking on average 84 weeks to conclude, unless settlement is reached along the way.  The figures for London are even worse. To state the obvious, these are appalling stats, which mask the enormous emotional and financial cost to separating couples who find themselves in court. 

So the message couldn’t be clearer – avoid the limbo of court proceedings if you possibly can.  And even if you’re already in court proceedings, don’t stop trying to reach a settlement if you can.
Hope this is helpful 🙌🏼 Hope this is helpful 🙌🏼
Proper disclosure should be a non negotiable. With Proper disclosure should be a non negotiable. Without it, how do you know whether the offer he is making is legally fair? 

I’m sorry he’s being uncooperative- it’s short sighted as ultimately you could argue in front of the Judge that you were forced to issue court proceedings because of his non-disclosure and so he should pay your legal costs...
Hope this helps 🙌🏼 Hope this helps 🙌🏼
The cost of pension reports, and the delay they ca The cost of pension reports, and the delay they cause, is a huge factor for divorcing couples. But it’s so vital not to ignore pensions. 

Achieving an equal sharing of a pension isn’t always straight forward, particularly if it’s a public sector scheme, so you may well need a pension report but always get legal advice first to make sure it’s necessary, and use a Pension on Divorce Expert who can comply with the Pension Advisory Group guidance
As with anything in life, divorcing couples need o As with anything in life, divorcing couples need options and lots of them! 

Think about the help you need, and where to get it, and don’t think the first person you should call is a lawyer.
This is your divorce. And there is no ‘one size This is your divorce. And there is no ‘one size fits all’. 

You know, better than anyone else, the things which worry you the most. Maybe it’s navigating the emotional side, maybe it’s the arrangements for your children, maybe it’s better understanding your financial position and what life after divorce might look like. All these issues can and should be navigated, and for most couples, are better dealt with before you speak to a lawyer or engage in mediation. 

One of the best ways to navigate divorce well is to keep control of your divorce. Don’t delegate it to someone else. The divorces we see which have really spiralled out of control are ones where the two people involved have, in effect, become passengers in the divorce litigation. If you can possibly help it, don’t let that happen. Get help at an early stage from a range of professionals (and none of this needs to break the bank, just a couple of sessions will often do the trick). That way, by the time you start to take legal advice, you’ll be in the right frame of mind and be able to identify the areas on which you do (and don’t) need help. 

You can budget for everything else in life; there is no reason at all why you can’t also budget for divorce, and together keep hold of the reins.
It costs more to run two households instead of one It costs more to run two households instead of one. So the reality, for most people, is that financially they are BOTH worse off after divorce. But as humans our decisions aren’t all driven by money, so leaving an unhappy relationship, even if you’re worse off financially, is what most people want in order to find happiness. But it’s important to be realistic from the start about the finances. 

You both need your financial needs met, the money has to be shared, and the task is to find a way to share it which is legally fair taking into account all the circumstances of your marriage, your earning capacities and your needs.
Hope this helps 👍🏼 Hope this helps 👍🏼
It’s really important to know there is NO presum It’s really important to know there is NO presumption in law about how a child’s time should be divided between their parents after separation.
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