New research from the Department for Work & Pensions reveals that one in ten children in couple-parent families are affected by parental conflict. At least one parent reported relationship distress during the 2021 to 2022 period.

This is a clear reminder of the well-documented link between parental conflict and child wellbeing, a connection that deserves urgent attention.

Why Conflict Leaves a Lasting Mark

It’s not separation alone that harms children. Instead, the real damage comes from exposure to ongoing conflict before, during, and after a separation.

In Inter-parental Conflict and Family Separation, Professor Gordon Harold explained that while separation brings short-term stress, long-term emotional harm is driven by the conflict surrounding it.

The Nuffield Family Justice Observatory supports this conclusion. In 2022, they studied over 17,000 children involved in private law proceedings. Their findings revealed that these children were significantly more likely to experience depression and anxiety than those not exposed to conflict.

The Way Separation Is Handled Matters

Separation can be necessary, but how it is managed is critical.

When it’s safe to do so, encouraging parents to work together from the beginning helps reduce conflict. It also enables decisions to be made calmly and in the child’s best interest.

At The Divorce Surgery, we offer a Start Together consultation that provides separating couples with impartial legal advice at the earliest stage. This shared approach supports open communication and avoids misunderstandings before they escalate.

We also offer One Couple One Lawyer. In this model, one lawyer advises both parties. This reduces stress and confusion and helps families reach fair, informed agreements together.

Encouraging Signs in Parenting After Separation

There are reasons to feel hopeful.

Government data shows that 56% of children in separated families now see their non-resident parent regularly. That figure has risen 5% since 2015–16. It’s a welcome sign that more families are finding ways to share parenting responsibilities post-separation.

This shift supports child wellbeing. Ongoing, meaningful relationships with both parents help children feel more secure and supported.

To help parents achieve this, our Co-Parenting Service offers joint consultations. These sessions guide parents through the practicalities of raising children together, even when living apart.

Planning ahead is key. For guidance on how to adapt arrangements as children grow, see our blog post: Creating a Co-Parenting Agreement for Different Stages of Childhood

From Conflict to Constructive Co-Parenting

So how can we help families move from conflict to cooperation?

Early, calm, and well-supported decision-making is essential. When parents focus on their child’s needs and receive the right support, it’s possible to avoid unnecessary stress and cost, for everyone involved.

Addressing parental conflict and child wellbeing starts with enabling parents to collaborate. With the right guidance, families can navigate separation without damage.

If you’re looking for more advice on this, read our article: Overcoming Common Co-Parenting Challenges

Or, if you’re at the very start of your separation journey, this guide may help: How to Achieve an Amicable Divorce