Second Time Around Dating – How To Find Love Again After A Divorce

At The Divorce Surgery we encourage all our couples to access help from the right experts at the right time. We would like to showcase what various professionals can offer separating couples, and will be regularly posting ‘Top Tips’ from experts across the field. This week our guest writer is leading dating coach James Preece.


When you’re newly single, you can feel like there’s an importance in finding someone new. You’re used to having someone around and that can lead to feelings of loneliness and longing, which is normal. You are likely to be feeling an array of emotions, even if the divorce was long overdue. Unlike a break-up, a divorce can be lengthy, especially if you’re separating assets or have children together. Because of this, it’s important to take extra time to “get over it”. 

As a leading Dating Coach, I know the exact strategy you should be following. Be gentle with yourself and take your time. It may be a good idea to evaluate what you want and what you’re looking for. You want to know you’re ready before you get back into dating after a divorce.

You may want to start slowly, easing yourself back into the dating world. If you’re looking for something quick and casual, go for it. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, then it’s good to take things slowly. A great way to do this is by expanding your social circles. Go out and meet new people, male and female. You can do this in many different ways, such as:

  • Trying a new coffee shop/library/park
  • Taking up a new hobby
  • Signing up for a class to learn a new skill
  • Joining a club
  • Joining an organisation
  • Going on a retreat
  • Volunteering in your community
  • Doing something you’ve never done before
  • Going to more office parties
  • Attending birthday/retirement/anniversary parties

It may be helpful to make use of the social circle you already have. You can meet new people through the people you already know! You can connect with co-workers. You can ask friends to set you up with someone. You may even decide to ask a family member to send you on a blind date. Once you’re confident you want to start actively looking for dates, you can make use of:

Now, it may be easy to get discouraged at first. There are many ups and downs when you’re dealing with dating after divorce. For one, there’s a good chance the dating world has changed a lot since you were last looking for someone. It may take some getting used to. If you’re struggling with new methods of communication, try asking someone for help. This may mean asking someone younger to help you. It will be worth your patience.

It’s important to know that you may face a few different challenges when it comes to people too.  The important thing to keep in mind is: Go with the flow. You can’t control everything. All you can control is your own reaction and your own feelings. If a date seems unsuccessful, consider it to be a learning experience instead. There are learning opportunities in everything else, why not dating?

If you have children from a previous relationship, dating again may be tricky at first. There is always a question when it comes to the right time to make an introduction. You don’t want your child/children to meet someone you’re not serious about. If you’re casually dating for now, then keep your dates away. You’ll know when it’s the right time to make the introduction.

My advice to you for now is simply to relax and have fun. There is no rush to do anything but you have a lot of new adventures ahead of you!


If you have more questions about this topic or any other legal issues arising on divorce or separation, please do get in touch as we are always happy to help. You can call us on 0203 488 4475 or email contact@thedivorcesurgery.co.uk.


Author Name: James Preece
jpreece James Preece is the UK’s leading Dating Coach. He has helped 10000's of singles find love again and works alongside many top brands all around the world. Contact him at JamesPreece.com to help kickstart your love life again and avoid all the mistakes singles can make.

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